well its been a while since i have used this.  but i feel like i really need some place to express myself lately.  i think i have the school time blues.  I had such a wonderful summer this year. i went to california with my boyfriend and his family. it was amazing.  then i went to rome for a few day, which was the best expderience i have ever had in my life.  And i went to florida for a couple of days.  I also worked my ass off.  Some people dont understand it.  with the exception of those days i worked more than 40 hours a week.  i feel like im starting to drown.  I have started school again.  im in my second year at st johns. i take 15 credits in two days. seems a lot, right, thats how im starting to feel.  i am starting to feel very overwhelmed.  i also work five days a week, 40 hours or more.  i dont know.  I also have a wonderful boyfriend.  i love him so much.  he practically lives with me.  oh by the way i live by myself.  i have a small studio apartment.  now i seem to complain about the bf alot but i dont mean to. he is a really great person and helps me out so much, he is my life, and so important to me.  I just wish he would help me out more often.  he never does anything to help me around the house or fix things that need to be fixed.  he doesnt help me pay rent or bills, not that i ask for it, but some times i think it would be nice.  i go food shopping i do laundry i cook i clean and i get no help, i hate asking for help also.  i feel that if you are here and see everything that i do you should have some incentive to give your help.  and i dont ask for money so you help me twice what you would.

so back to the school thing.  my teachers this semester seem to be crazy.  i have so much reading to do i dont think i have time for it.  in one week my his prof wants us to read 100 pages.  then my othe his teach wants us to read 50 and take notes and submit them to her.  then i have eco which isnt as bad, but he never tells us what to read.  so i scared.  i love to keep my grades up.  i have a 3.91 gpa and it is so important to me that it does not slip.  i feel consumed by school.

im drowning and have noone to help me.  i sinking further and further down, struggling to brezak the surface.  and i just cant.